Malta, 2000.
Diana and I were celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary in Malta. We were staying at the very luxurious Hilton in the St. Julian’s district of Valletta, the capital city. We were enjoying the seaside “endless” pools overlooking the Mediterranean and having a delightful time. I left Diana relaxing in the pool and went over to the sauna that was right at the poolside. I opened the door to the sauna, walked down to the opposite end and had a seat next to the steaming rocks. 5 minutes is usually about my limit. About 3 minutes into my Maltese sauna experience, a young woman walked into the sauna, wrapped in a large white towel. She took off the towel, politely folding it for a seat cushion, and sat down next to me. She did not have a single stitch on. Totally naked. She was from Austria and in Malta on holiday.
“This is not a good situation,” I pondered nearly audibly. “Probably a good time for me to leave.”
I started to stand up to leave and at that very moment Diana called out for me. She was right at the door of the sauna! Panicking, I took stock of the situation. I reasoned if I acknowledged her call, she’d likely open the door and step into the sauna to join me and then she’d see the situation I was in. So I sat back down and did not say a thing.
Mercifully, I heard the pitter-patter of feet as Diana walked off, muttering, “Hmmm, I guess he’s in the locker room.” So, I sat there a little longer for what seemed like an eternity, certainly exceeding my 5 minute limit. Sweat poured off my body. Uncomfortable in so many ways. When what seemed a suitable amount of time had passed, I excused myself from my self-imposed hell, and stepped out of the sauna, looking to the left and right for Diana. The coast was clear. I went to the men’s locker room to shower and cool off. The sauna was exceptionally hot, after all.
I joined Diana in the pool a little later.
“Were you in the locker room?” Diana asked.
“As a matter of fact, I was,” was the technically truthful answer.
Dash Stories 